I'll carry your worrrrrrrld

I'll start off with the good ono kine grindz that happened this week:

- We're teaching this new guy named Fernando and he came to all 3 hours of Church for 2 weeks in a row

- We also got to take Fernando to a baptism and he said, "Wow, it's so cool to see other people's examples of doing good things that I can follow..."

- Hermana Flora made us some good Venezuelan food

- We drove into the country and I missed my Burley dayyyyzzz and the smell of cows 

So I'm sitting in Noodles & Company because we couldn't find a dinner (and reminiscing about spending all my dayz with Em in Provo and Arenui) and I haven't been able to shut my mind off this week. I can't stop thinking and can't stop worrying and I've been more stressed than I think I ever have been on my mission. It's interesting because at the beginning, I couldn't speak Spanish, I couldn't remember anyone's names, I didn't know my way around, was struggling to get to know the Branch in Burley and all of our investigators, and now I'm at this point where I know how to do all of these things - you'd think it would get easier, right? I'm continually surprised by this journey because when things seem like they should get easier, when you've got a handle on what you're supposed to be doing, they just get harder. 

When I first got on my mission, I didn't know anything about missions. I didn't know about transfers, about District and Zone Leaders, about where you lived or where you went to Church or how much time we spend sitting down. I didn't know (although I did expect) the amount of stress you experience when you try you hardest to help others find peace and comfort and it doesn't seem to work; I didn't know that would be such a journey for ME to find as well. 

Anyway I'm sitting in Noodles & Company and pretty much just crying to Hermana Sundstrom because I can't really figure out what's wrong or what I can do to fix it. I'm praying and praying and praying and praying (and this Coldplay song comes on, the Lord KNOWS mah neeeeeeeeds) and finally this morning I found that little slice of peace I was looking for. 

I've been shown a great amount of love from family and friends - I haven't been able to sleep for a long time now and got some coping mechanisms that have helped a lot. The Familia Aguilar let me cruise on their couch for a little while and gave me some bath salts and magic Mexican tea (lemme tell you those bath salts are friggin' incredible, I felt like I was in the ocean lol), I received a sound machine that makes like the sound of rain when you sleep, and a bunch of essential oils from Hermana Sundstrom's mom. I've been able to sleep not through the whole night, but a whole lot better than before. The Gutierrez family invited us over for dinner and let us chill at their house with Fernando and watch a movie with them (anyone seen the Cokeville Miracle?) and I relaxed on their couch and ate 500 starbursts. 

We were able to go to the temple this morning and President Bartlett asked me what I've learned while we were standing in the Celestial Room. I told him that I've learned that even though I'm constantly confused and have all these questions about the gospel, about life (which is stressful in itself when you're teaching people each day about the purpose of life), that I've been able to feel that peace from God and hold on to that. When I don't understand something and I'm feeling horrible, I've been able to focus on that feeling and find ways to be happy. And that always comes through love. 

I bought some Mexicoke for this week's weekly planning session and am still looking for my purpose here in Twin Falls. I'm more than blessed to have family and friends who always help me with emails and letters and prayers and good thoughts and vibes. I know we experience these moments of crap and rough patches to make us stronger and to help us realize that God loves us more than anything. 

Love you lots fam. Sorry for the confusing email haha you know meeeeeeeee sorry for being crazy

Stay happy, have a great week - love you all more than the ocean 

Hermana Hanatea Elkington